Wednesday, December 14, 2011
It was daunting Monsoon night, rain was splashing on the road, the rumble of distant thunder was frightening me, beetles’ drone and frogs’ croak were on full swing and as usual I was busy browsing news sites. “Pick up the phone darling” my ringtone chimed once and stopped. It was a miss call. I was busy with Rahul Gandhi’ Mahapanchayat news articles so I didn’t care for the call. After a minute my cellphone beeped and my attention wavered. I opened inbox, the text was same as my ringtone “Pick up the phone darling” “That must be my Shipra” I thought. “Shipra is my girlfriend, a girl with average intelligence and excellent aptitude and she keeps a watch on every social issue and feels as if she is directly involved with it”. I still remember an incident at Delhi’s Jama masjid when she gave all her food which she bought from the ‘Al-Karim’ one of the best non-veg restaurant in Asia, to a street beggar without any hesitation. I have deep respect for her dedicated social awareness. She looks stunning with her sharp big eyes, perfectly drafted nose, flawless bright pink lips and milky white complexion. I texted back, “hey don’t play with me babu”…….after 2 minutes I received another text “who is babu”? This question clogged my mind because she had never asked a question like this, which means it was definitely someone else. I thought the same as any other boy would have had ‘this must be a girl’ and called back, coquettishly a girl replied, “Is this Khus?”. “Ya…, speaking, who are you?” I asked. “Is this necessary to know the name for starting the conversation”, she said in naughty voice. Girls wield more power than God in enticing mankind. “No, not at all” I said in hesitant manner. “What will you do in future?” she asked casually. She threw a storm on me because on the same topic I was thinking since a month. My mind babbled from inside on her question ‘how it could be possible that she know my inside inquisition’. “I will play with a hot chicks’ heart” I quipped. She laughed like an innocent child and said “you must be kidding”. “Do you know there is nothing worse than loving someone who is never going to stop disappointing you”, she said annoyingly. “Someone must have disowned you”, I murmured. She became quite and I realized that this is a taboo topic for her so I tried to change the topic by asking about her boyfriend. I interrupted the silence and asked, “Do you have a boyfriend”. “No, I don’t”, she responded. “You are avoiding the real question, aren’t you?” She subjugated me. “Seriously, I have no idea what I will do in future but I will try to reform Indian education system. Do you know 350 million-plus people lack access to decent primary education in India and this is the root of corruption, huge population, Naxalism, harsh ritualism? The various articles in the Indian Constitution provide for education as a fundamental right but the 2001 national Census of India estimated the total number of child labor, aged 5-14, to be at 12.6 million so my conscience persuades me to revive these flaws”, I babbled. “Many people think to do so in their early days but later they entangle with their career and family and never get time to think about this”, she lashed out. “How can I forget the pain and humiliation which this fucking education system has given to me? I was forced to mug up the facts without understanding since my childhood because of worthless teachers. I fed up with rat race and creepy grading system which creates immense pressure on student. This must be improved and I will do it”, I said quickly. “I wish I could help you in this noble deed but I can’t and remember one thing in life everyone seems to have a clear idea how other people should lead their lives but none about his or her own”, she said in graceful voice and disconnected the phone. I was thrilled and a beep sound buzzed in my ear for some time. I called back three times on that number but she didn’t pick up. After that I became stupor so I shut down my laptop and switched off the light. I tried to sleep but slumber was miles away that night so I thought I should discuss it with Alok- my secret keeper and best buddy in college, an idle genius and a Philomath. I went to his room and called him outside. We discussed about the call whole night and got rid of every possibility. So absorbed were we, that we didn’t realize it was 5 A.M already and the raucous rain and ferocious storm had stopped. The supremacy of gloom had been covered with glorious morning and atmosphere had become serene. We decided to take a nap before the 10 A.M class, he lit the cigarette and I went for slumber. “Pick up the phone darling” my ringtone chimed, I glanced my cell it showed “Babu Calling”. I received the call and said in sleepy voice “Hi darling, when did you come from home. “I have just reached the hostel”, she answered. “Its 9 A.M baba you have class at 10 A.M and you are still sleeping”, she screamed. “I couldn’t sleep properly last night because a girl called and interrogated about my future and after that I spent whole night discussing about her with Alok”, I said. She laughed and said, “She was my friend Pooja and I told her to keep you busy last night so that you couldn’t think about me because it hurts you and I couldn’t talk to you that time. I wish I will be with you when you feel low or sad”. “You are crazy”, I only could say this. “Ok baba I am mad, crazy, insane and lunatic, now you zip your lip and get dressed as soon as possible and don’t wear red t-shirt otherwise your friends will make fun on you because of LAL titled girl in your class…love u” she said affectionately and disconnected the phone. Vote for me now!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
A gracious advantage of having rich and influential Dad is you can freely enter in any raunchy parties of your city. Yesterday, for the first time in my life I got into a party because of my dad where people of my age were living their life. Blue lights, shorts skirts, can of beer, loud music and Airy hukka were making me creepy then I heard a voice dude where you were? I couldn’t answer but he smiled and hugged me and said i will talk to you after the party. I thought I should leave this place then I saw a pinky girl and again thought I should stay for some time. The girl! Her white t-shirt hung down from a shoulder and showed a strap-pink. Her t-shirt spelled out-Sugar in pink. There was perfect color harmony. Earrings and shoes. Shoes and bangles. Bangles and hair color. Her skin fit jeans and handbag. There were some twenty shades of pink on her. She even smelled pink. She had considerable curves, add few inches, make her a decade older and she would look a perfect porn star. Generally girls with these things look sluttish and sexy but she was just cute. She had sat alone with just some red drink I reached near her and asked what is your name? She looked me top to bottom and replied I am not going out with you. I smiled and said I don’t want to go out with you. She laughed and said really. Yeah, really i am not that kind of boy I said. So, what kind of boy are you she told me while looking inside my eyes. I replied nothing then she asked me what you do? I replied hesitantly I study in Indian Institute of science education and research (IISER), she took a deep breath and said what? I again repeated Indian……..she smiled and said you must be kidding. Now I became confident and said seriously I study in Indian……she said but you don’t look like that type. You look like some Contractor or MLA’s son. What are you doing in this party? I was on upside so I asked to her why a contractor son can’t study in IISER? She replied, generally this type of children never study and finally ended with institute like IIPM, Sikkim manipal University or M.B.A form some unrecognized foreign University. She then said leave this topic, tell me what drink you like Mr. Intelligent? I replied shamefully I don’t drink, after heard this she was speechless but she recognized my shame and said with some fake smile even I drink occasionally. One of my childhood best friend came near to us, he was fully drunk and told her he is khus my best friend so take care of him and then he left. She then asked me Khus how many girlfriends you have? I lied to her I don’t have girlfriend. Hey god, what you have done other than study tell me she pleaded sweetly? I told to her even I don’t study, she replied back all studious boys like you tell the same. I asked her what you do. I am doing M.B.B.S from Kathmandu Medical College. I appreciated her you are doing great she stopped me in middle and told me dear my father gave 30 lakh donation for my admission, I didn’t clear IIT-JEE like you, so you are very intelligent than me. Then I stopped her and told her leave these things tell me do you have boyfriend? She said I had three boyfriends but now I am single. She told me sweetly but why you are asking this question? I replied just because you asked me about girlfriends, she smiled and said you are lying. I said with fake irritation how can you say that? She replied with little smile a girl with pouted lips, sharp feature, sexy eyes and gorgeous legs are talking to you from half an hour and you are asking about her boyfriend just because she asked you about your girlfriends…if you are normal then is this not a lie? I felt little ashamed but counter attacked on her why you asked me about my girlfriend she replied pleasantly because you are intelligent good looking and single in this party. I thought in my mind this place is really not for me? She then asked me how many good friends you have. I replied I talk to many people but hardly think any of them considered me a friend except a couple. Now it was time for big storm she asked me do you like sex? Without my answer she said me sex could kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration became rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electric impulses from nowhere to nowhere, secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you are lifting three times your body weight, its violent, its ugly and messy. And if God haven’t made it unbelievably fun the human race would have died out eon’s ego. Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. You know that women can have an hour long orgasm? After such long speech on sex she held my hand and came near to me before I could do anything her pouted lips was in my mouth. After 30 second we both realized we are in public. Then she left my lips or could say I left her lips and hugged me and murmured in my ear I am Nitu the girl with whom you made your first kiss in lower kindergarten. Call me some time my number is in your pocket and she drop a piece of paper in my back jeans pocket and left the party. Vote for me now!